Alive
by iRegularL7Square
Summary: Sakura's mom died a year ago and she's been living at a boarding school for the past year. Her only escape from reality is music. When she runs into the most feared boy in school she realizes they have something in common. AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Alive**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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Summary: Sakura's mom died of cancer a year ago and she's been living at a boarding school for the past year. Her only escape from reality is music. When she runs into the most feared boy in school she realizes they have something in common. Summary sucks, just read. AU. Some ideas were from Sarah Dessen's book, Just Listen.

I woke in a sweat from the same nightmare I'd been having for a year now. I glanced at my alarm clock. 5:13 AM. Sighing, I got out of bed and ran a hand through my matted hair. I looked at my reflection and smiled bitterly. My striking resemblance to my mother was a daily reminder that she was really gone.

My mom was so beautiful and... alive. Then, suddenly, she was gone. We didn't know she had cancer until it was too late. I remember being in class, and getting a note from the teacher. The look on her face was so solemn, I instantly knew something was wrong.

My father had died before I was born, and my mother didn't have any family left, so I was given the choice to be adopted or go to a boarding school. I didn't want to replace my mother. I chose the boarding school. The state would pay for everything, until I turned 18.

I turned away from the mirror and went into the bathroom to take a shower. I stripped and stepped into the hot stream. Soon, the nightmare slid out of my mind and I felt myself begin to relax.

Eventually I stepped out and wrapped a towel around my body. After I dried off I put on some black jeans that flared at the bottom, a long sleeve black and dark gray shirt that was off shoulder on one side, and a dark green tank top. I placed a green stud belt around my waist on top of my shirt, and put on my plain black and white converse.

I pulled my long pink hair into a messy bun, my bangs swiped to the side, and applied a small amount of eye liner and mascara.

I was early, like always. It was only 7:30, and classes didn't start for another hour. I sat on my bed and gazed lovingly at my guitar. Music was the only thing that kept me sane after my mom died. I immersed myself in it. I wrote and learned so many songs, and listened to all sorts genres from indie to reggae.

I picked up the guitar and began to strum out the opening chords to If Winter Ends by Bright Eyes. It was such a powerful song. You could _feel _it in his voice, his heart is broken.

I wanted to achieve that perfection. I wanted to be someone who had the right words to make someone feel.

I craved it.

* * *

English class was always my favorite, besides music. Writing came naturally to me, and I most always bonded with my teacher every year. I loved watching my words take shape on paper, forming an impossibly beautiful rhythm that was steady with my heart.

Sometimes I would write something and re-read it and not believe it was me who wrote it. I let go when I wrote, and what I produced was like an embodiment of my soul. I surprised myself.

We were supposed to be writing an essay about symbolism, but I was writing a poem.

_My heart is made of plastic._

_It lies dormant in my open-faced chest,_

_beating to the evolution of my soul._

_My mind is ever changing,_

_a blur of want,_

_diluted by need for a constant._

_"Change" does not belong in my mouth,_

_and the thought of it makes fear run through my veins._

_I thrive on familiarity._

_Self-expression is seldom understood,_

_yet my ears spill over from the words of others._

_I take the back burner to those around me,_

_and provide a reposed shoulder._

_I cry alone._

_My jaw is wired shut from blow after blow_

_of self-destructive silence._

_I can feel it aching in the back of my throat._

_In the roots of my teeth._

_In my finger tips._

_It's time for you to hear me._

_My hand, poised and ready, over this blank page_

_can deliver me from this brutality,_

_caused by my own self._

_My thoughts will bleed through the pages,_

_and with every slanted letter I will be born again._

I was so entranced with what I was writing that I didn't notice a strange boy had walked into the classroom. The teacher said my name, and instinctively my head snapped up. The boy began walking towards the empty desk beside me, and I couldn't help but stare.

He looked to be a little taller than me, and had deep red hair. His eyes were a pale shade of jade, and seemed guarded. On the left side of his forehead there was a tattoo of the kanji for "Love". He was dressed in all black, and his pants had silver chains on them. He wore heavy combat boots and headphones were in his ears.

When he sat down I could hear the faint sound of a familiar song coming from his headphones. I smiled to myself and strained my ears to hear. Without realizing it I began to hum along quietly.

I wondered who he was.

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**Authors Note: Okay, so here's my first chapter. It was a sudden idea, and I really wanted to write it. It's a little lame right now, but I think it will get better. Also, it might be a bit OOC and updates might be slow, but if you review for me I might wright more soon :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Alive**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**A/N: For anyone wondering, I wrote the poem in the last chapter.**

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By lunch time the red haired boy was the topic of the school. I caught little snippets of hushed conversations, words like _crazy _and _monster._ I also found out his name was Gaara.

I didn't usually eat at lunch. Instead I went to the music room and either wrote poetry or played guitar. As I neared the door music from a piano grew louder, and when I opened the door I was the boy, Gaara, playing.

His head was bent down and his eyes half lidded so I was out of his sight. His fingers danced across the keys, striking with a firm delicacy. His body was relaxed, and he was sure of himself.

I started to back out of the room, afraid that I was interrupting, when my foot struck the wall. The low thunk drew his attention, and the music instantly stopped. My head buzzed from the sudden silence and I tried to smile at him.

"Um... sorry for interrupting..." I stammered out awkwardly. When he only stared blankly I tried to fill the silence.

"You're really good... you know, at playing I mean... I just was coming to hang out in here... I usually do at lunch time... sometimes after school... Oh! Sorry. Hello. My name is Sakura."

I could feel a blush stinging my cheeks. _"Goodness I need more people skills."_

Gaara's lips curved very slightly on one side. "I'm Gaara." His voice was deep and calm.

I bit my lip and said, "Oh, I know... Well, everyone is talking about you."

He raised his "eyebrows" and smirked. "Oh really? And what is everyone saying?"

I thought for a second, trying to remember what I'd heard, which wasn't much, and made a face. "Well, I don't know exactly. I don't pay much attention to gossip."

For a second I thought I saw relief flash through his face, then it was blank again. He abruptly turned stood up and walked out of the room. I blinked a few times, and stood there for a second. When he didn't come back I walked across the room and picked up an acoustic guitar.

I strummed random chords, and finally landed on a song. My mind stopped working and my soul fueled my movements. As I played I began to sing.

"_Mouthful of cavities  
Your souls a bowl of jokes  
And everyday you remind me  
How I'm desperately in need"_

My voice trailed off as I got lost in playing again. This was my escape. I could plant the seeds of my heartache in the tips of my fingers and grow hope through the guitar strings. The taste of loneliness was just a tang in the back of my throat as sunlight coated my mouth.

After a while I sighed and stopped playing. The bell was going to ring and the next class would be here soon. I packed up the guitar and slipped my messenger bag over my shoulder. When I turned a corner down the hall I was Sasuke Uchiha was was talking with Gaara. Both of them looked rigid and Gaara's fists were balled and teeth clenched. He was holding himself back.

I stayed still, waiting for something to happen. Sasuke was an moody boy who thought he ran the school. Many times he'd asked me out, and each time I rejected him. He was just too arogant. After a few tense moments Sasuke said something, looking vehement, and turned and left.

Gaara stood there, fist still balled, with his head down and took a deep breath. Before I could blink his fist crashed into the wall and his knuckles began to bleed.

I gasped and stepped forward. "Gaara!"

He turned to me, and his arm hung limp at his side. My brow furrowed and I walked over to him. My fingers hovered over his hand but I pulled back and looked up at him. "Are you okay?" I asked, concern edging into my voice.

"Hn. I'm fine." He said, his voice void of emotion. He began to walk past me, and without thinking I turned and caught his wrist.

"Wait! I have a free period now. Let me bandage your hand. You can't go to class like this."

I let go of his wrist and held my breath for a moment. Slowly he looked at me. "Alright."

I let my breath out and nodded. "Um, okay. My dorm is on the third floor... are you okay to walk up the stairs?" I asked hesitantly.

He halfway rolled his eyes and sighed. "I already told you I'm fine. I mean it. I'm only indulging you because I have nothing to do right now. So come one, let's go."

* * *

"I am _so _sorry Gaara!" I called from the bathroom. I had been looking for my first aid kit for nearly twenty minutes. Gaara was sitting on my bed holding a towel on his his knuckles to stop the bleeding.

Finally I saw the small white box and held it up triumphantly. "Yes! I found it!" I called out, mostly to myself.

I sat next to him on the bed and reached out for his hand. I looked up at him for conformation that it was okay and he made a small "Hn." so I took it in mine gingerly and examined it.

I opened the first aid kit with my free hand and pulled out some antiseptic liquid. "Um, this might sting a little." I said, feeling stupid. If he can go around punching walls and not care this would be nothing to him.

After the wound was disinfected I wrapped it securely and tied it. I smiled a small smile of victory and lifted my head up. My eyes met with Gaara's and I realized we were a mere inch apart. I felt a blush creep across my cheeks as I slid back some.

"Thanks." he said, and looked down to his hand, still in his lap. Turning his attention back to me he asked, "Are you new here? I don't remember ever seeing you."

I blinked for a second. I'd been here a year already. I guess he must have gone here before I came. I wonder why he left...

I snapped back to reality and realized he was still looking at me.

"Oh. I've been here a year now. What about you?" I trailed off, hoping not to sound rude.

"I was sent to a mental institution about a year and a half ago." He said bluntly. My eyes widened slightly and I gasped a little.

"Oh... what happened? If you don't mind me asking?" I wasn't looking at him as I spoke.

I could hear him sigh and re-adjust himself on my bed. "Well, my older sister Temari was dating that Uchiha boy. I found out he had hit her and so I went to his house. I knocked on the door and he answered. I planned on just confronting him about it, but when I saw him I just started beating the shit out of him. His dad had to pull him off of me. They wanted me to go to jail, but my lawyer rigged it so I went to the institution instead."

I bit my lip and finally looked at him. He didn't seem uncomfortable telling me this so I relaxed a little. "Oh," I said softly. "I'm sorry."

"Hn." His pale green eyes were piercing. "What about you, why are you here?" His tone was bored and uncaring so I debated whether or not to explain myself, but decided to. He had asked, right?

"My mom died of cancer a year ago, and I had no other family so the judge sent me here." I said quietly, my voice now emotionless. It didn't hurt to talk about anymore, if I didn't think about it and just recited the words.

Not really knowing what to say I looked up at him and smiled. "Well, it was nice to meet you Gaara... Um, I guess we better get going."

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**A/N: Sorry for the long update time, I hope you like this chapter. I'm kind of making it up as I go, so we'll see what happens. Reviews mean sooner updates :D thanks for reading.**


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